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bad hair + resolutions

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It's New Years Day. A time of contemplation and reflection.

I could muse on the vicissitudes of 2010, I could reflect on all that I have accomplished last year, I could ponder the future, but no...all I can do, rather narcissistically, is lament my recent hair disaster.

About two weeks ago, I was sitting on a train going to Florence stuck in a compartment with two young women. The train was late again and I was forced to come up close and personal with the fresh face of Italian beauty. I'm already surrounded by a bevy of Sofia Loren types on the school run but being forced to watch these gorgeous nymphs smudge eyeliner and re-apply mascara to ridiculously long lashes drove me to despair. Ever the trouper, I brushed the rabbit hair and old breakfast cereal off my cardie and rushed to MAC.
“Help me I feel really old. Can you recommend a red lipstick?”
“Oh Signora, you are so pale, red could drain you even more”
I should have listened.

My ridiculously red lips and I decided it was my hair that was pushing me over the slippery slope towards middle age, so I booked an appointment at the local hairdressers. To be fair, the colorist and I were a little Lost in Translation;
“I want to look as though I've spent the week at the beach”.
“But you'll look grey and older. We have a wonderful new product that will give you the same effect but with a honey glow”.
“Honey as in 'miele'?” I asked, trying to be specific.
“Yes, kind of beachy honey”
Beachy honey, maybe it's an Italian term for blonde, I thought. So I agreed and the nightmare began. I should have realized there was something wrong when she rinsed my hair and ran to Franco, the boss.
“Bellissimo, bellissimo” she kept exclaiming
Bellissimo it was not, it was ginger with a green hue.
Panic ensued, it was like watching a bad opera. Shouting, arms flailing, semi-obscene gesticulating and lots of crying – the staff not me!
Fabrizio, from Bar Gerasmo, delivered two proseccos and Franco, armed with his aluminium squares, sought to restore my calm. Five hours later at 10pm, I finally left with new highlights.

Having hidden in the house under low lighting with the excuse of stuffing the turkey and decorating the Christmas cake, I tentatively took my first steps outside.
“And?” I asked my family.
“Well a bit lemony and a bit gingery” replied my eight year old.
Right then, that confirms it, I have spent Christmas looking like a gingery, pale lemon with excessively red lips.

And my resolutions for 2011?

Don't walk on the wild side of beauty, be happy with who you are and never get stuck in a train compartment with young Italian women. Share on Facebook
jeane rovillo 16/05/2011
that is hysterical! i once decided that i wanted to have curly hair like some movie star of the time and so came home looking like a horrible clown!! my son around 4 years old asked me? Who are you??!! i saw a picture of myself later & was like OHHH NOOOO!!! so funny now!!
Teresa 11/01/2011
I'm so sorry this happened! I am a person that my hair and skin is my pride and joy about me ( as well as a good person i must add!). I have had a few experiences like yours and it's not fun. I love how you put things in perspective and your humor behind it. I just found your site and must say i really enjoy it. I look forward to checking in and see what's new. I wish you life, love, and health. ps. I am from San Francisco Area in California, USA and going to Italy is one of my life long dreams....
Celeste 05/01/2011
Your blog is delightful. Your advice, " happy with who you are and never get stuck in a train compartment with young Italian women." I will heed. LOL This is my first visit and I look forward to more musings on 2 of my favorite foodie ingredients. Ciao Bella.
Carole Stone 02/01/2011
I have sympathy with your lipstick. I sat opposite a good looking girl on the London tube recently - black hair, pale face and brilliant red lipstick. Summing up my courage, I leant forward and began to ask me question: 'What is the....' 'Russian Red by Mac' she interrupted me before I could finish. She was obviously well used to this question. I now wear nothing else but that lipstick and apply my white panstick, but try as I may I just cannot achieve her look. As to hair colour, it is...
Stephanie 01/01/2011
I have just started reading your blog and really enjoy your thoughts and adventures there in Italy. What a wonderful life!

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